Unlike last year, I saw fireworks this Canada Day. In fact, this Canada Day was so much better than the last that I saw fireworks not once, but twice. I stood on a bench as the sky bursted red and purple and all things sparkly as they sang words of inspiration in the form of an old favourite.
It was a perfect moment as perfect moments go. July 1st suddenly felt like January 1st and everything seemed new and possible for once.
The possibility of that night and this summer led me to push through a crowd of people at the sight of a familiar windbreaker. Without a pause to analyze or doubt, I tapped his shoulder and opened my arms wide in greeting. And there was nothing left to analyze or doubt. It was dark, and there were two beers swimming around inside, and the noises of the crowd made it seem like everyone else felt new and possible for once, too. The words spilled fast and the smiles came the easiest. So this is what it's like, I thought to myself. Friends.
In the midst of our reunion, mini fireworks shot off beside us, causing the dark to suddenly glow green. And this was another perfect moment as perfect moments go. Not because of the way part of me still hoped for a grand declaration of love and remorse and how I could actually imagine it happening, but because everything felt natural and not scary and there were fireworks and I finally realized how far I'd come from a year ago.
Seeking strength in mystery. Let us feel the air inside the clothes we wear. Try to find ghosts behind the buildings in our lives. Draw us lines. Bad weather. Anxiety and fear. Don't give in. Call on her. And live in fascination. Fascination forever.