replay

"Hold my hand before you leave. This is the last time we'll hold hands."

"Don't leave. Please?"

I've said these exact same phrases twice over the past four months. But they were said to two different boys four months apart. But they were said in the same doorway and on the same bed. They were said out of the same broken feeling and the same fear. But when I said these words the second time around, I didn't cry. All I could think about was calling the first boy who'd heard them and who I since hadn't spoken to.

And call him I did.

Is this all very telling? I think so.

Also, since we're talking about exes, happy birthday to you! I know you don't read this and hardly remember me at all anymore, but you're 25 today! How could I forget.