Tuesday, March 9, 2010
this city of ghosts
This weekend I ran into the first He that ever mattered and we may have been a We for five years but I haven't seen him for nearly four and isn't it so strange how your once best friend and boyfriend and everything and the person you thought you'd always know, in some capacity or anther, becomes so strange he's suddenly a stranger? We've passed each other before but I've always been too scared or lost for words but this time the night felt like spring and the beer was already inside and I didn't have time to think. I ran over and said his name, first and last because there never was a middle, and the words sounded as happy as I was to say them. There was no strangeness, only familiarity all grown up. His eyes were still as blue as they were when I was fifteen and felt how it feels to lie beside a boy for the first time, and his voice sounded the way it always did coming through the cordless phone I clutched to my ear late at night in my parents' basement. But he was shorter than I remembered, and I realized halfway through the stories I was telling that he didn't know the people in them. Yet even so, I said "it was really good to see you" as we parted. And I really did mean it.