Sometimes, like today, I really think it would be possible for me to flee this city and all its people. On most days, the idea of elsewhere always seems alluring and exciting and a little bit dangerous but never real. On most days, I have no need for elsewhere because here is where I only ever want to be. But today is not most days. And today as I sat on the streetcar coming to work, all I could think about was what would happen if I didn't get off at the same stop I get off at five days a week and instead stayed seated, riding the streetcar in giant circles around the city, never having to speak to anyone once. And then I started thinking about jumping in a car, or even a plane if I could dream big enough, and going so far away everything would be new and nobody would be familiar. I didn't know where this elsewhere would be. All I knew was that it would be better than today.
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5 comments:
it's amazing the things we wish we could do sometimes to change the way feel...even if its a small thing like riding the train till the very end and not having to get off at the usual stop. your 'today' is so familiar to me
What ties us down to our lives? I used to live a life where I slept in my car, went wherever I willed to go, and made new contacts every day. I had no future, I may as well as had no past, and my present rested on the precipice of my fleeting desires. Oh how I wished for a permanant friend, a wife, a family, a job, a home, a future that showed that I actually did something that mattered in this world.
Now I get up every morning and commute across town to work. I sit in an office, talk to the same few people on my design team through out the day, go home to my house, my wife, my son, my dog, and my cat...and I wonder how I got pinned down in this life.
We fight against complacency. We fear the unknown. We put down roots, grow moss, and become a part of the background. The real trick is to look for the joy in our lives, and live for that joy.
I think it's great to have "what if" thoughts in our heads just to feel what it could be if we are to do something different. Most people try to find a certain stability in their lives, however when all days are so alike we crave to do something different that will make us feel differently too.
I had the same feeling that you had. But instead of changing something small I turned my life completely to another direction. I changed countries, even continents, flew 11000 km away from the place I was born, away from family, friends,places...But I don't regret at all. So my experience came with it.
I think the only thing that stops us is fear. A person can do anything. If you want it and believe it nothing is impossible.
But I get your feeling. Need of change. Even a slight one. Love your style of writing.
I think you are right. There is a lot of things I would change if I could, but how do you know it woudn't work out for worse even...?
Awesome, amazing, wonderful, fresh blog. I dream about taking off too... I've always wanted to take a vow of silence for a month...
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