Wednesday, December 23, 2009


It's December twenty-third and that means it's another year since you left us and I counted backwards today and thought to myself "fourteen years, how can that be" and it's a lifetime sometimes and at others it's like yesterday I sat beside you on a couch or just a week since I caught sight of you through a slit in your bedroom door or at most a month since I held your hand and sometimes it feels like a day a week a month because I can still close my eyes and remember the sound of your voice and what it felt like to ride up that escalator every summer and see you waiting at the top.

But then I also remember that your house is no longer yours and maybe you wouldn't recognize me if we were to pass on the street and there is the most beautiful and sweetest little boy who you don't even know exists. And today I can't help but think how much has changed since fourteen years ago and wonder how things would be if you were here to hug on Friday.

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